I’m not concerned [about Ebola]. I’ve had no fluid exchanges with my neighbors.
Oct 23, 2014
You gotta realize we are in America, and in America, there are no sacred days. Because we commercialize everything. We’re only 5 years away from 9/11 sales….’Come on down to Red Lobster! These shrimp are 9 dollars and 11 cents!’ It doesn’t matter what the holiday is. Martin Luther King Day, it’s gonna be the same thing. Gonna be watching TV like, ‘These Toyotas are practically free at last, free at last!'
Nov 02, 2014
Congrats to Chelsea Clinton and husband Marc! And how long till [baby] Charlotte is asked for a yes or no about running in 2052?
Sep 28, 2014
Isn’t it a b**ch? ...the vice president thing… I’m joking, I’m joking, I’m joking. Best decision I ever made.
Oct 02, 2014
The transportation system in this country is in a huge ditch. A pothole, if you will.
Mar 30, 2015
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
Sep 09, 2014
CNN now stands for 'Cops Not Needed Network.'
Aug 19, 2014