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Contemporary Quotations

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Category: Comedy

What’s not scary is that he became presidential in that moment. I think what’s scary is that it is that easy to become presidential.

Mar 09, 2017

Trevor Noah, CNN
ComedyPresidency
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  • Published in Comedy, Presidency
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Charles Manson cancels marriage because his lady wanted to keep his corpse in a glass case. This is now my new reason for staying single.

Feb 09, 2015

Brandon Barrick, Twitter
ComedyRelationships & MarriageSocial Media
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  • Published in Comedy, Relationships & Marriage, Social Media
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Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

Dec 15, 2015

Daniel Boorstin, Famous historian
Ambition & FameAnti-GovernmentClassComedyCommunication & RhetoricCongress & LegislationElections & CampaigningFree SpeechGenerationsHistoryHuman NatureIdeologyPolitical PartiesPoliticsPop-CulturePresidencyPressPublic Opinion & PollsRadio & televisionRealitySocial MediaStrategy
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  • Published in Ambition & Fame, Anti-Government, Class, Comedy, Communication & Rhetoric, Congress & Legislation, Elections & Campaigning, Free Speech, Generations, Human Nature, Ideology, Leadership, Political Parties, Politics, Pop-Culture, Presidency, Press, Public Opinion & Polls, Radio & television, Reality, Social Media, Strategy
No Comments

I don’t have a super PAC. I don’t even have a backpack.

Oct 17, 2015

Larry David, Saturday Night Live
ComedyPoliticsPresidencyVoting
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  • Published in Comedy, Politics, Presidency, Voting
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That’s right, I’m the lesser known Kardashian sister, my name is Karla Kardashian with a K. Because we’re known for our double K’s. These are double K’s too, by the way.

Oct 30, 2015

Ellen DeGeners, The Ellen DeGeneres Show
BisexualComedyGayLesbianPop-CultureQueerRadio & televisionTransgender
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  • Published in Bisexual, Comedy, Gay, Lesbian, Pop-Culture, Queer, Radio & television, Transgender
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Netflix gave us House of Cards and then took it away. This is like every Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.

Feb 11, 2015

Matt Bellassai, Twitter
ComedyRadio & televisionRelationships & MarriageSocial Media
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  • Published in Comedy, Radio & television, Relationships & Marriage, Social Media
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I KNEW WHEN JON STEWART LEFT TO DIRECT THAT MOVIE HE WAS GONNA TRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

Feb 10, 2015

Mindy Kaling, Twitter
Ambition & FameComedyDanceHuman NatureIdeologyIndividualityLeadershipMusic & FilmPolitical ResponsibilitiesPoliticsPop-CultureRadio & televisionStrategy
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  • Published in Ambition & Fame, Comedy, Dance, Human Nature, Ideology, Individuality, Leadership, Music & Film, Political Responsibilities, Politics, Pop-Culture, Radio & television, Strategy
No Comments

Sure Kelsey, pick the theme for prom but we’ll control the budget, and ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ is not an acceptable theme.

Aug 02, 2015

John Oliver, Last Week Tonight
ComedyPolicyPoliticsPop-CultureRegulations
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  • Published in Comedy, Policy, Politics, Pop-Culture, Regulations
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The most important thing to know as a staffer: please let the secret service know before you shoot off the confetti cannons.

Jan 21, 2015

Mary Cheney, Speaking to students at American University
ComedyCongress & LegislationMilitary & Armed ForcesPolitical AspirationsPolitical ResponsibilitiesPoliticsPresidencyStrategyWisdomWork
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  • Published in Comedy, Congress & Legislation, Military & Armed Forces, Political Aspirations, Political Responsibilities, Politics, Presidency, Strategy, Wisdom, Work
No Comments

This isn’t ISIS; no one’s dying. We’ll get through this.

Jan 22, 2015

Tom Brady, Press Conference
ComedyCommunication & RhetoricEthicsIndividualityPop-CulturePublic Opinion & PollsRealitySports & LeisureTerrorismWar & Peace
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  • Published in Comedy, Communication & Rhetoric, Ethics, Individuality, Pop-Culture, Public Opinion & Polls, Reality, Sports & Leisure, Terrorism, War & Peace
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