The fun of this is that there are so few things like it where it’s, to some degree, a roast of the most powerful person in the world which is such a risky proposition for a comedian. But it’s also such as terrifically American undertaking that this night exists at all.

I think everyone is born funny. Sadly, some lives beat it out of them. I don't know what allows someone to keep being funny and actually make a career of it. I was encouraged to see the humor in life and have always been around people who think funny, but I know some hilarious people whose sense of humor saved them from their lives.

My favorite type of joke might lowkey be a lie.

Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it’s not for the Pentagon to plan wars on.

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job.

Is there anyone out there? Or am I all alone? It wouldn’t make a difference; still, I don’t wanna know.

What’s not scary is that he became presidential in that moment. I think what’s scary is that it is that easy to become presidential.

Charles Manson cancels marriage because his lady wanted to keep his corpse in a glass case. This is now my new reason for staying single.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.