In some perfect world where human nature is less messy and history less fraught, any and all people who had ever suffered discrimination would find common cause, gathering together under one big anti-bigotry banner.

Today, we celebrate our gay pride.

I didn’t want this job. I didn’t seek this job. My wife told me I’m supposed to do this.

Not only am I having a girl, but I picked the girl from her little embryo. I picked her and was like, 'Let's put in the girl.

The court looks the other way as yet another federal district judge casts aside state laws without making any effort to preserve the status quo pending the court’s resolution of a constitutional question it left open in United States v. Windsor…This acquiescence may well be seen as a signal of the court’s intended resolution of that question.

Charles Manson cancels marriage because his lady wanted to keep his corpse in a glass case. This is now my new reason for staying single.

We wish those in happy relationships a very happy Valentine’s Day… and encourage everyone else to clean out their closets, donate to Goodwill and start fresh!

I have confirmed that the second verse is Warren.

Have you seen his wife? I hope she comes to the game. I hope her sister comes to the game, all her friends come to the game. One of my favorite games of the year, guys.