While we’re all obsessed with Deflategate, let’s keep in mind that there’s something about which you should give a f**k. Yes, like Tom Brady, the world is getting hotter and hotter, and you know why? Because we humans are pumping carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

To hate him is wrong, and maybe my ego got too caught up in, if I stood here maybe, maybe — just maybe — I could break this record of the man who tried to stop the rights upon which I stand. I’m not here, though, because of his speech. I’m here despite his speech. I’m here because as powerful as he was, the people were more powerful.

Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it’s not for the Pentagon to plan wars on.

Heroes always have their scars. Some you can see, some you read about later on.

In every great challenge this country has faced, it has turned to the essential strength of its people, united around a common goal.

In the past, human progress had to come at the cost of the environment. If we wanted energy, we had to burn wood or we had to burn fossil fuels. If we wanted to grow more food, we had to expand farmland, often at the cost of forests. But technology and innovation means we're very quickly decoupling these impacts, such that this conflict is no longer true.

The hour has come for a new generation to lead the Democratic Congress that I so deeply respect.

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job.

Is there anyone out there? Or am I all alone? It wouldn’t make a difference; still, I don’t wanna know.