So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.

Nobody gets more gender affirming care than the Housewives.

I think the only mistake is believing that you’re getting facts.

My favorite type of joke might lowkey be a lie.

Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it’s not for the Pentagon to plan wars on.

In the past, human progress had to come at the cost of the environment. If we wanted energy, we had to burn wood or we had to burn fossil fuels. If we wanted to grow more food, we had to expand farmland, often at the cost of forests. But technology and innovation means we're very quickly decoupling these impacts, such that this conflict is no longer true.

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job.

Is there anyone out there? Or am I all alone? It wouldn’t make a difference; still, I don’t wanna know.

I’ll be honest with you: When you're talking about cybersecurity, a lot of it is classified and we're not going to provide it.